The cost of incivility: why open communication starts with respect
Four colleagues in a tense discussion in the office
April’s Stress Awareness Month is a timely reminder that mental health and well-being in the workplace don’t happen by accident - they are cultivated intentionally, starting with the way we communicate and treat one another. One of the most subtle yet pervasive barriers to open communication and psychological safety in the workplace is incivility - those seemingly minor but consistently discourteous behaviours that quietly erode trust, morale, and engagement.
Workplace incivility - characterised by rudeness, dismissiveness, exclusion, or condescension - is often not overt or aggressive, but its impact can be profound. It can significantly undermine open communication, increase stress levels, and fracture team cohesion. Recent research from Harvard Business Review reveals not only how damaging these behaviours can be, but how disproportionately they affect certain groups, particularly women, who often bear the brunt of silencing effects.
The Silencing Effect of Incivility
In a landmark 2025 study published by Harvard Business Review, researchers found that incivility discourages employees from speaking up—whether in meetings, one-on-one discussions, or performance reviews. The fear of backlash, being misunderstood, or simply not being taken seriously means that ideas, concerns, and valuable feedback often go unspoken. The research highlights that women are particularly impacted, as they are more likely to anticipate gendered backlash for speaking out, making them less likely to contribute openly.
This silence comes at a cost - not just for the individuals involved but for the organisation as a whole. When people don’t feel safe to voice their thoughts, creativity suffers, collaboration declines, and potential issues remain unresolved until they escalate. The culture becomes reactive rather than proactive.
The Productivity Cost of Rudeness
Incivility doesn’t just damage relationships; it hits the bottom line. In a prior study by Harvard researchers Christine Porath and Christine Pearson, 98% of employees reported experiencing incivility, and half said they spent work time worrying about it. The same study found that:
47% of employees deliberately reduced the time they spent at work after being treated poorly.
66% said their performance declined.
80% lost work time worrying about the incident.
25% admitted to taking their frustration out on customers.
This kind of disengagement is costly. In addition to lost productivity, there are increased absenteeism rates, reduced job satisfaction, and higher turnover—all of which place pressure on teams and leaders alike. When left unchecked, incivility quietly but steadily chips away at a positive work culture, leading to stress, burnout, and diminished performance.
The Link to Mental Health
The Harvard Center for Work, Health, and Well-being has also drawn attention to the health implications of persistent workplace incivility. Their findings reveal a correlation between exposure to incivility and an increased use of mental health services, particularly in environments where bullying or exclusion is allowed to persist unchecked. For individuals already navigating external stressors, the lack of safety at work can become a tipping point for anxiety, depression, or disengagement.
Leadership Strategies to Address Incivility
The good news is that culture is malleable—and it starts with leadership. Leaders have a powerful role in shaping the tone of the workplace, and in ensuring that respect, inclusion, and communication are at the heart of everyday interactions.
Here are three practical strategies leaders can adopt:
1. Lead by Example
The behaviours you tolerate become the norms of your team. Consistently demonstrating respectful, inclusive, and emotionally intelligent leadership sets the tone. Address inappropriate behaviours swiftly and calmly, and make civility part of performance expectations.
2. Provide Training and Tools
Equip employees with the skills to communicate effectively, manage conflict, and deal with stress. Training in these areas not only boosts confidence but also prevents misunderstandings and helps address issues early.
3. Foster Inclusivity and Belonging
When people feel valued and seen, they are more likely to speak up. Promote diversity, ensure all voices are heard in meetings, and actively challenge behaviours that exclude or marginalise. Consider anonymous feedback channels if necessary to ensure all perspectives are gathered and respected.
Conclusion: It’s About More Than Politeness
Creating a civil, respectful workplace isn’t about enforcing politeness—it’s about enabling people to thrive. When people feel respected, they feel safe. And when they feel safe, they contribute. As the research shows, fostering open communication and addressing incivility is not a “nice to have”—it’s essential for well-being, innovation, and performance.
As we mark Stress Awareness Month, let’s remember that small shifts in behaviour and leadership can have a big impact on how people feel—and how well they perform. In a world where stress is already a constant, let’s not allow the workplace to be a source of silence and strain. Let it be a space where people feel heard, valued, and supported to do their best work.
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